Does this story sound familiar to anyone?
I turn my face away from the laughing faces of my class mates and stare daggers at my teacher, who was reading my essay out loud to the class. “She is so stupid! Her essay makes no sense,” I heard someone whisper. “She makes the silliest mistakes. Even my 6 year-old sister can spell that word correctly.”
I wanted to disappear. I wanted the ground to swallow me up. The teacher carried on reading, oblivious to my abasement. She dwelled on every error and mistake causing the class to erupt in louder fits of laughter. “Your handwriting’s impossible to read! Looks like a 3 year-olds handwriting,” the teacher commented. I sat there staring at my desk in embarrassment, avoiding their eyes.
I knew that I understood the lesson perfectly well, but when I had to write it down in words, I just couldn’t do it. I didn’t know how to explain things the way I wanted to. Couldn’t make people understand it the way I wanted to. It never came out right on paper.
“You need to put in more effort. You lazy girl!” the teacher was now telling me. “You are just being plain careless.”
I nodded, not knowing what to say.
The teacher moved on to reading someone else’s essay but I was much too humiliated to sit there in class. I needed to get out. I raised my arm “Miss, I have a very bad stomach ache I need to go to the toilet! It’s an emergency!” I lied. I limped out of class clutching my stomach. After I was out of her sight I ran across the hallway till I was safe in the toilet. I waited there till this period was over.
Next period wasn’t much better. We had a test. I stared blankly at the white sheet with rows of black letters floating, gliding and sliding. The letters look kind of cool when they do that, I thought to myself. But it was awfully hard to concentrate with them moving about like that. I sat there observing the dancing letters.
I spotted a butterfly outside. Wow! That’s a nice butterfly! I wonder how long it’s been alive. How many people have seen that very butterfly today? Could someone I know have seen the same butterfly somewhere else today? Can it cross the ocean? Nah probably not! That’s silly. I wish I could fly like that! It would be amazing. I could just go and jump out the window. I wonder how everyone will react to that…
“Five more minutes left!” the teacher announced.
Oh my God! The test! I hadn’t done a single question! I rushed reading the questions as fast as I could and trying to answer them properly. Unfortunately it wasn’t fast enough and I only managed to do about a quarter of almost every question.
The teacher came to take my paper. When she saw my paper she shook her head in disappointment. “You should not have wasted all that time at the start,” she told me.
“I didn’t realize I was wasting that much time, Miss,” I told her honestly. She sighed.
Of course she didn’t believe me.
By “A” (Invisible Illnesses on Tumblr)